I allow myself to get lost in my story. To go where I’ve not gone before, to allow myself to ask why and celebrate my curiosity. Pushed aside are all the adults of my younger life, gagged so I may never hear, “Because I said so.” HA! Be gone with you.
Why is a good word. One we should never stop asking, even when the answers stop coming. It is then we must address those questions ourselves, to take the labyrinth set out in front of us to discover the answers. When we find them, the answers are truly interesting.
Why did I take this literary journey to LeMarais? Why is a good word.
In many ways I have taken this journey with my characters with my own list of whys. The story is not autobiographical, but with many of the same emotions. A redemptive journey. And yes, I have found some of the answers. My dreams are easier now. As Jaime would say it, his fears are not “… commandeering my dreams at night to stage my nightmares.” (LeMarais)
I took on this project with love, curiosity and a high level of fearlessness.
And I have found so much in the process! People I have met along the way that I would never have found otherwise. These people I proudly count as friends now. I have a better understanding of the lady whose eyes I meet as I look in the mirror. A more sympathetic view of the past, the labyrinth that brought me here, to my own LeMarais.
Then there is the research. Google Maps allows me to wander the streets of Paris on street level. I have spent days trying to find my way (on virtual foot) to various hotels, museums, tourist sites. Good thing is that when I get lost, I can zoom up overhead and find where I am in the maze, relocate myself and continue. I’ve never been able to do that as a real tourist. I want to see where Jaime walked, where he took Maggie. At the moment I can’t physically go there, but I’ve had the luxury of the internet that is truly my magic carpet. I wish there was a button somewhere in the sky we could push when we lose our way in life.
And the adventure continues. Sending out query letters is not for the faint hearted. Sending manuscripts to Beta readers, no matter how gentle and sympathetic they may be is still a daunting, ego threatening task. Maintaining equilibrium when people ask how the manuscript is going when it will be eight weeks before you hear anything is an exercise in practicing a strong belief in myself, my story, and the answer to my question, ‘why?’