Where in the Whiskers are my Fiskars?



Okay. Work with me here. I can’t get Pepe to look me in the eye …

I have finally gotten to the line in my To-Do List, where I can make the curtains for our front door. And yes, this too, will end up on my list that proves that Pepe is once again working his magic to drive me insane. It is called The Pepe Phenomenon. But first, the background.

I had my Fiskars Rotary Cutters about a year ago. I’m sure I did. I had laid everything out on my dining room table, protected by my cutting mat. I made a decision that morning to turn my untidy heap of cotton fabric into neat squares for a quilt. Living in an old house with virtually no closets make it necessary to think of storage. The squares would be easier to store than the sloppy folded fabric of various yard lengths I had squirreled away for years.

I spent the entire afternoon running the rotary cutters along the lines of the mat with the help of my aluminum yardstick. Zip. Zip. Zip. Soon, the pile of squares was quite high. You might wonder how I remember this so well. Those of you who know me, recognize just how memory challenged I am. That, too, is because of Pepe. But that story will be another day.

When the cotton was zipped and the stack complete, I took all the scrap material and threw it in the kitchen garbage. It was time to start preparations for dinner. I realized that I needed some bread for the meatloaf I had planned. Unfortunately, Moxie had stolen all the bread off of the kitchen work table that morning while I was cleaning Pepe’s cat box. Nothing is worse than a dog digging around for kitty candy. Ugh! So I took myself off to the store, leaving Moxie in charge of house and cat.

I suppose it started innocently enough. Perhaps a string of thread dangled temptingly off the edge of the table. Perhaps Pepe saw an opportunity to improve his talent at Table Surfing. Neither Moxie or Pepe would confess. Even when I threatened to only feed them one piece of kibble that night. No. Their pact of silence was honored. So I never knew how it began.

When I returned, however, my carefully piled cotton squares were scattered throughout the house as though a cyclone had focused on spreading the squares evenly through every room. How Pepe did this in the short time I was gone is only slightly short of miraculous. When I think of the good he could do in the world if he turned from the dark side, it makes me cry.

Alas. As he reminds me, I have no proof. My phone was dead, and no photos exist. Unspeakable. I truly have been unable to speak of this until today.

I’ve looked all day for my roller cutter. Pepe has followed me around meowing sympathetically, and looking up at me with innocence in his eyes that I am convinced is fake. That’s when it all came back to me. He had the roller cutters last. Where did he hide them?