Ugly Christmas Sweater Competition



We have been invited to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party next weekend. I am at a disadvantage. My mother taught me to believe that every Christmas sweater was beautiful. This leads me to believe that I have been a constant source of amusement and ridicule for my friends.

Still, this does not prepare me for the task at hand. Creating two ugly Christmas sweaters for us to wear boggles my mind. What to do?

First, we found the sweaters. Quite literally. On a walk, Becky and I found two sweaters in a box marked ‘FREE’ about a block away from home. Check. We now have two sweaters ready for embellishment. Next, we scoured the craft store, buying odds and ends of Christmas buttons and decorations along with felt in bright colors. Many years ago I sent out Christmas cards creatively made of fabric and felt. I kept three for myself because I thought they were so cute. A Santa, a reindeer, and a snowman. These will be the centerpieces, the theme of each sweater, appliqued on the backs. Glitter glue, pompoms, feathers, and garland will fill the blank spaces, and contribute to the general festive look to complete the masterpieces.

But what if I miss the mark of ugly completely? What if I overshoot and the sweaters are beautiful? How would I know? I can’t even tell the difference between navy blue, purple and brown It’s my taste that is in question here, and my eye for fashion.

This project astounds me in its complexity. I’m not sure I’m up for the task. Perhaps I should seek guidance on the Internet? Perhaps I am overthinking the whole thing? It seems wrong somehow to not spend tons of money on this project. But my supplies, as quirky as they are, fill my kitchen table. They are curious, I am sure, what I will do with them. “Come play!”


The Moxie Parade



Another day, another walk with Moxie. After today, however, I am concerned that our walks will never be the same. Moxie is spoiled forever.

On our walk, a lady and her five-year-old daughter were standing on their front porch. The little girl saw us about a half-block away. I could hear her. “Oh, Mommie! A doggie!” Moxie, of course, insisted on going that way, and stopped on the sidewalk to show off her beautifulness. The girl was almost crying in frustration because she wasn’t wearing shoes, and couldn’t come into the front yard to meet Moxie. Sigh. So Moxie offered to bring her treasured self to the front porch to be admired. The little girl whispered things in Moxie’s ear that Moxie refuses to reveal. The girl placed her face on Moxie’s head. The girl told Moxie that she is the most beautiful dog in the world.


We left, and very slowly made our way home. Moxie posed at every front sidewalk, waiting for the people to open their doors and pay her homage. Unfortunately, no one else had received the announcement of our parade.

We are home now, warming ourselves by the fire. Moxie is still smiling, re-living her glory.