Anxiety, My Old Friend


I had no idea that releasing my novel would set off so many emotions. Relief, satisfaction, joy, excitement and anxiety. Anxiety? How can that be?

Anxiety. I began to feel it as it spilled into other areas of my life. The edges of me began to fray. The gutter replacement bid came back high. The routine oil change took longer and my car needed maintenance I wasn’t prepared for. I couldn’t remember my user name for an online account. I was melting, and I wasn’t even wearing my shiny red shoes!

So I sat with my anxiety for awhile and stroked it. Acknowledged its flavor, examined its texture. Felt it, accepted it, and treated it with respect. Anxiety was not a bad visitor, it simply dropped in unanounced.

Soon I became bored with it. I found my user name and took care of business. My Subaru is safer now due to the more vigilant maintenance, and I enjoyed the warm complementary salty popcorn and ice cold water in the cool waiting room where I enjoyed watching other people–also free.

So now I am back into watching the stats on my new novel, Please Understand.’ The first review was posted today, and Anxiety was free to wander away.

My debut novel, ‘Please Understand,’ is available through MLR Press and Amazon. Please take a look at it, and read the review!

Please Understand



FaiMarie Profile


On February 14, 2014 I began a new project. Fueled by the thought, “What if,” a plot took shape and soon began filling pages. Weekly I gave Becky those pages to read, and she wanted more. Monthly the pages grew and became a manuscript. In August 2014, the story had completed the course through the outline, and I sent copies to my brave Beta readers. Within a few weeks I began my rewrite and edits.

Now rewrites and edits are different than creative writing, and it takes a different mindset. It becomes a puzzle to find the missing pieces, to carve the manuscript down into something that builds the stage for the reader to see what I saw in my own mind as I wrote it.

Writing is an interesting activity as I invite you into my mind. It brings out serious feelings of insecurity and vulnerability. But the story plays and replays until it is written and shared.

In September I went to an LGBTQ Romance Conference and talked to four publishers about my manuscript. MLR Press offered me a contract four weeks later.

Months of edits, anxiety and excitement followed while further revisions were submitted and reviewed. It was a very interesting process and I was thankful for the editors’ watchful eyes and skills. The completed product is finally ready.

I am happy to announce that MLR Press will release Please Understand tomorrow. YAY! I’m so excited! Celebrate with me, then prepare to read!

More information tomorrow…